“Did you order my oysters?” Samantha said. She unfolded the napkin and shook it out in Lenny’s face, before he could answer, and then place it across her lap. Her face was a mixture of sadness and anger, the two emotions warring from moment to moment with each other.

“Your asshole tax is on its way, my dear,” Lenny said, not sure why he needed to lie. He figured he would excuse himself in a few moments and order it. This was not starting how he imagined it.

“Okay, I’m here, and I’m listening,” Samantha said.

“Not even a hello, or a how are you doing?” Lenny said.

“I would ask that, but it looks like you’re doing pretty badly. What, did you take a shower in that sweater? Have you fallen that in love with it that you can’t even bear to remove it? Do you see this affection you have for that ridiculous sweater? This is all I asked from you. I never asked for much. I gave you lots of time and space for you to grow as a person, or whatever the fuck you did with yourself. But it was just some consideration. That’s all I wanted,” Samantha said.

This was definitely not going as Lenny had imagined it. He had seen many possibilities of the conversation. Almost all of them started civilly and then degenerated into shouting matches. There was nothing for him to do but dive right in. She would either understand or he would go out on the road on his own. There was no help for it.

“Samantha, there’s something I haven’t told you,” Lenny said.

“You were cheating on me too? I should have known. That stupid sweater is from the girl you cheated with, huh. And here I thought you really cared about your dear old aunt. I should have known better,” Samantha said.

“Whoa. Slow down there, kid. Listen, this has nothing to do with you. I didn’t cheat on you, it’s not another woman; there really was nobody but you. I probably took you for granted, and I probably should have let you know what was going on earlier, but that’s why we’re here now. Give me a chance to explain. You’ll either believe me or think I’m one crazy son of a bitch. I want to give you a chance to choose,” Lenny said.

Samantha rested her chin on her knuckles with her elbows on the table. She looked at Lenny and shook her head. “I’m not sure I want to hear this, but go for it. You can’t say very much that will hate you more than I hate you right now,” Samantha said.

Lenny took a deep breath before speaking. “It’s this sweater, Samantha. It’s a very special sweater. Don’t judge yet, please. Just hear me out and then think I’m a loon. The sweater my aunt gave me—there’s something special about it. I could tell you what it is, but you would never believe me. It’s that special. Here. Let me conduct an experiment. Think back to a childhood memory. Something that you never told to someone,” Lenny said.

“What are you talking about?” Samantha said.

“Just do it. Please. You said you’d give me a chance to explain and I have to demonstrate what I’m explaining. Think of something you’ve never told anyone and tell me what it relates to,” Lenny said.

“I’ll humor you, but I’m only humoring you until the oysters get here,” Samantha said.

“That won’t be a problem,” Lenny said.

“Okay. I’m thinking of something that happened to me when I was seven years old. It relates to a lost baby tooth,” Samantha said.

Lenny rubbed his sweater and tried to know what had happened to Samantha. “Your baby tooth,” and then he knew. He saw Samantha’s tooth falling out, he saw her mother rushing to her and holding her. And then he saw the next day, how Samantha lost the tooth and the tooth fairy did not give her money because she did not have the tooth anymore. And he saw how Samantha’s mother had forgotten about the tooth—how a fight with Samantha’s father, a long, all-night fight about his working late and his spending too much time with a co-worker, how that caused Samantha to not trust the tooth fairy or her mother for many years. “It was your tooth. When you were seven, it fell out. You and your mother were very excited, and you were going to put it under your pillow to get money for it, but you lost it when playing with it. You thought the tooth fairy would give you money anyway, but she didn’t. The truth is, your mother forgot about the tooth because she was fighting with your father. You were hurt by that,” Lenny said.

Samantha stared at Lenny. Lenny imagined what could be going through his head. He was not sure what he would have thought if someone had done this experiment to him. It would have been a strange feeling. It was easier with him because he did not figure out what the sweater was telling him. It had taken many weeks for him to realize that he knew things that he probably should not have. He also now knew that the sweater had blocked out some of his earliest memories about using it. But now that Lenny understood the sweater’s powers, he wanted to share them with Samantha. He smiled as she continued to stare at him.

“I know, I know. It’s amazing. I don’t understand it either, but there’s something my aunt must have done to the sweater. She said she made it, and I believe her. Our family came from a pagan heritage. Maybe it was some occult or witchcraft. I don’t even know where to begin trying to figure out what’s going on. The only thing I can say is that this all started happening when I put the sweater on four weeks ago. The sweater gave me so many insights into my clients and our relationship—although I didn’t want to know many things. I didn’t want to use this to influence how we related to each other. But you must know the temptation I had to resist,” Lenny said. He was very excited and his words ran on top of themselves. He had wanted to tell Samantha for so long that when he was given his chance, he could not stop talking about it. He heard of word diarrhea and had been on the receiving end, but never actually watched himself speak in that way. He smiled. If ever there was a time to have such a discussion, now was it. He put his hand out and spun his finger tips in circles trying to get Samantha to speak.

“What are you talking about,” Samantha said.

“The sweater—the story I just told you about the tooth. How do you think I knew that? It was because of this sweater, this worn, used, poorly knitted sweater. It told me, and I’m putting quotes around the told,” Lenny said.

“I’m really scared,” Samantha said.

“There’s nothing to be scared of. This is what I’m trying to tell you. It’s not exactly natural, but it does open up a tremendous amount of opportunity. That’s what I want to explore. It’s that opportunity,” Lenny said.

“Lenny, calm down. I want you to calm down and look at me. Really look at me,” Samantha said.

“I’m looking,” Lenny said.

“The story you told, the one about the tooth and my mother, that wasn’t what I was thinking about,” Samantha said.

“The sweater can’t read minds. I was hoping your prompting would let me know what part of your past to tell the story about,” Lenny said.

“I’m not done. Please, stop interrupting me. This is really important, and I need to get it all out,” Samantha said.

“I’m sorry, Samantha. I didn’t mean to keep interrupting you, but this is very exciting for me—it’s very exciting that I finally have someone to share this with. It’s been a very lonely few weeks, especially after my aunt fell ill. I was hoping to share it with her, because she was the one who made all of this happen,” Lenny said.

“Lenny, shush. Let me get this out. That was not the story I was thinking about. In fact, and listen closely to this, I don’t remember that ever happening to me. My mother, in all of her liberal childrearing practices, told us the truth about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and, more importantly for this, the Tooth Fairy. She never gave us money for our lost teeth. She never told us about the tooth fairy except to warn us about how other parents try to trick their children into believing in fairies. You see, what you just told me could not have happened to me. You made that up,” Samantha said.

“That’s impossible. You probably just don’t remember to when you were seven years old. I know everything about the story. I can tell you what type of pants she was wearing—it was a floral print pattern using mostly greens and yellows. I can tell you what time it was when you first lost your tooth, 7:32 pm. I know so many details, it’s just not possible that this didn’t happen. I’m absolutely sure of it,” Lenny said.

Samantha reached out and grabbed Lenny’s wrist and squeezed. “Lenny, have you been losing weight?” Samantha said.

“Yes, but it’s all because of the sweater. Do you see how much I’ve eaten? This is the third basket of bread I’m nibbling on. The sweater seems to suck the food for me. It’s part of my payment for knowing all that I know,” Lenny said.

“I’m thinking about something else, Lenny. This happened in fourth grade. I was with my teacher, Mrs. Bander, and I was in a play. I was the lead in the play, but before it went on, I was really nervous and I refused to go out on stage. Mrs. Bander sat me down and said something to me that I remember ever since then. Do you know what she said?” Samantha said.

“Yes. The play was called, ‘Boy, do I have a problem,’ and it was about all the problems of childhood. You were scared of going on because you were afraid of forgetting your lines. It was raining heavily that night, and your father was late to the show. He was coming from work where a meeting ran late, and your mother brought the video camera in case he missed it. Should I go on? Do you believe me now?” Lenny said.

“We did a remake of Wizard of Oz, Lenny. I played the Wicked Witch of the West, and I was afraid that my rubber nose would fall off. Mrs. Bander sat me down and told me, ‘if the nose falls off, the show will go on, Samantha. It’s just instead of you being the ugliest witch on the stage, you’ll suddenly be the most beautiful one. Now, go break a nose.’ That was my first experience on stage and I fell in love with public speaking, nose and all. Lenny, you’re not well. Please, let me help,” Samantha said.

“That’s not possible. I know things. I saw the play. It was like I was there. I have memories of it: I now see your mother standing in the aisle with the video camera on a tripod taping the performance. Your father did make it, but he didn’t make it until the end,” Lenny said.

“My father and mother drove me to the show, Lenny. Don’t you think I would remember what happened better than you? What has gotten into you? Was this a joke?” Samantha said.

“No! This is not a joke, Samantha. Why are you fucking with me? I’ve known stuff for the past three weeks. I’ve known stuff I had no business knowing, and I know stuff about you, about your childhood, about everything in your life. Why don’t you believe me?” Lenny said.

“What you know is a lie, Lenny. I don’t know why you know it or what you’re going through, but we’re going to get through this. Maybe you should take off that sweater,” Samantha said.

“No, I will not take off the sweater. What, do you want it for yourself? Is that what this is all about? Did you know what it was before you even came here? Are you in league with the insurance salesman who tried to kill my aunt? Is that what this is all about?” Lenny said.

Word count: 2,120

Words left: 8,026

Caffeination: Tall Soy Mocha

Feeling: Still feeling pretty good. I didn’t get to the big explosions or the ninjas and zombies, but I’m heading in that direction. Just a few more days and I’ll have my 50k. I just wish some of these late blooming story ideas came to me before I started writing the last 10k words. Oh well. Better late than never, someone rather stupid said.