‘I read a report about global warming today,’ said the liberal, mentally rubbing her hands together and readying herself for a fight.

The conservative made a face. ‘Global climate change, if you please.’

‘What’s that?’ the liberal asked, always wary when the conservative tried to change the name of an issue. She had been royally screwed on the move from the estate tax to the death tax. The conservative never received any support for repeal of the estate tax until he changed it to death tax. It took the liberal a long time to realize that politics wasn’t about position papers anymore, or deep analysis of issues and the effects of those issues on the country and the world. She now knew that politics was about marketing, something the conservative learned much earlier. Controlling the positioning of the issues—be it the what the issue is called or who it effects—was the first step in achieving political goals.

‘When did you change it?’ the liberal asked out of intellectual curiosity. It was impossible to argue the reframing of an issue with the conservative. She knew if she was going to win on this issue, she’d have to take it to the people.

‘We started on it about a year ago,’ the conservative said. He was very confident in his strategy, the full extent of which the liberal did not know yet. “It sounded much less scary that way.’

The liberal agreed. It did sound better, another excellent marketing job. ‘But don’t you think people will still grow nervous about changes to the climate? I can’t imagine they want another ice age.’

‘Oh we’ve thought about that,” the conservative said. He was winding up for the pitch. He slowed his delivery, watching the liberal carefully for her reaction. ‘The thing about climate change is that it might not be so bad.’

‘I don’t follow,’ the liberal said, following quite well and very nervous about where he was heading.

‘Think of the dinosaurs. They lived in a much different climate than us. And they seemed to make out well, quite well.’

‘So you’re saying if the climate changes we’ll all grow as big as dinosaurs?’

‘Think of how happy that’ll make the dinosaurs,’ the conservative said.

‘The large teeth?’

‘And the sharp claws,’ the conservative agreed emphatically. ‘You should never forget the claws.’

‘When I speak with you, I never forget the claws.’