After posting the first part of my story, I received excellent feedback. Regrettably, it wasn’t the head patting that I (and my ego) enjoy. But the important part is the feedback goes to the core of why I’m writing these short stories. If you remember, I talked previously about tasking myself with short stories to learn how to write stories. At the time, I thought it was about perfecting the point of view and structure. I’m realizing that it’s about many more things.

Orson Scott Card’s Character and Viewpoint was the first book on writing that I read. I had shared many of the excellent ideas that Card had written with Doolies. She wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the subject matter, but she was kind enough to listen and grunt at the appropriate times when I explained the different concepts to her. I hadn’t realized that she would remember any of it.

After reading my story, Doolies didn’t comment (which I took as a very bad sign). My mother was even worse. She said, “I saw you posted a new story.” I responded, “Yes, and?” She didn’t say anything. I told her how much I enjoyed spending the weekend writing the story, how I had drank copious amounts of caffeine to keep the juices running, and how this was one of my most enjoyable writing sessions ever. She responded, “It’s good that someone enjoyed the exercise.” Ouch.

Getting back to Doolies (which she loves to hear), I prodded her for a more definitive review of the story. She then started describing the terrible flaw that the story contained. She cited my discussions of Card’s book (of which I didn’t think she remembered or even listened to). She said that the characters were not likeable, just pathetic, and while you (i.e., me) might be entertained or even amused by pathetic people (I thought my post on mean people was hilarious), most people don’t want to read stories about them. It’s bad enough that these people are themselves pathetic. Why would they want to read a story about another person’s pathetic existence? Aren't they trying to escape their pathetic existence by reading the story? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

Chuck—who, to spare my feelings or in hopes of improvement in the second draft, had not presented a substantive critique of the story—readily agreed when I shared Doolies’s analysis. After hearing this from two horses’ mouths, I returned to review my story. It took me a while to admit the truth. After I saw it, I (barely) resisted the urge to yank down the first part of the story. I saw Sam and the narrator in all their pathetic and uninteresting glories. How did I miss it?

I have plans to rework the story to improve this aspect. I won’t share with you the details (only partly because I don’t know them yet), but I will be working diligently. I’ll have to reset my deadline for posting the updated story until next Friday. Aren’t deadlines great? Especially the easily changeable, self-imposed type.