After finishing Robert Jordan’s book (it took me only three days, which shows the addictiveness of his books), I decided that I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing in creating characters and stories. I delved the internet to discover what it is I was missing. I thought that if I could find some exercises about writing, I would figure it out on my own. The available knowledge articles relating to writing disillusioned me quickly. The message boards are rather good, but to find the right message written by the right person on the right board is difficult. I found an interesting writing exercise book at amazon.com, and decided to try it. There’s still nothing like a good book when it comes to learning about anything non-computer related.

Being only interested in instant-gratification, I went to my local Borders. I couldn’t find the exercise book, but I did come across books teaching writing. One in particular caught my attention: a book about characters and viewpoint by Orson Scott Card, an author I respect (he wrote Ender’s Game). I’m about halfway through that book, and I have learned a lot about characters and plot. It’s amazing to realize how little I consciously knew and even more amazing to discover how many elements I intuitively used, probably from reading so many books that used the same elements. My hope is that making conscious choices about the plot and characters will improve my storytelling and writing.

Spending all my writing-time reading was not my plan, but I’ve been reluctant to begin writing until I finish the book. I’m concerned that I’ll miss a key insight in the book about writing and have to start the process all over again. (Seeing this excuse in writing shows me just how ridiculous it is. I’ll get back to writing soon.) I’m about halfway through the book and I hope to finish it before this weekend. After I finish it, I should get back to writing more regularly. Hopefully, you’ll see less of these musings and more of my storytelling.

Earlier, I spilled coffee on the guy sitting next to me. I was sitting in the coffee house on the purple plushy chair, which was separated from the other purple plushy chair by an end table. I attempted to multitask by drinking and reading. While placing my cup down on the table, I knocked it over. Starbucks designs its technically advanced coffee cups not to spill except when tipped on the side of the spout. Defying all odds, the cup fell with the spout on the bottom and the coffee shot out like an ejaculation.

After picking up the coffee cup to rescue my precious decaf mocha, I followed the coffee trail from the puddle on the table to the purple chair’s arm. Two brown drops had skidded over the purple chair’s arm and onto the man’s khaki pants. I was preparing to apologize to him until I noticed how oblivious he was. I got napkins, came back, wiped the table, and threw out the napkins, before returning to my book. I even hummed my do-de-do song while cleaning, but he noticed nothing. His cell phone was glued to his ear and he was in a different world. A few minutes later, he hung up and left, never the wiser. I probably should have felt bad about this episode, but I’m a horrible person.

Let’s see if I can apply some of the writing book’s advice to make this anecdote more interesting. The first step it to interrogate the characters by asking “casual questions,” adding “exaggeration,” and, if appropriate, “a twist” while avoiding answers from the “cliché shelf.” (This sounds like a bad 12-step program.) There are currently two characters: the narrator and the oblivious man.

What is the narrator doing in a coffee shop? He’s reading. Blah: what else could he be doing in the coffee shop? Maybe he was drinking coffee with someone. If there is another person who noticed the spill, they both could share in the amusement. Or perhaps the other person is not amused by it but feels bad for the oblivious man.

What is the relationship between the other person and the narrator? He could be alone and the other person watched the spill from a different chair. Perhaps that’s how they meet, after the phone guy leaves the other person approaches him.

So, the narrator is a he? It makes more sense, particular considering his attitude. Okay, leave it like that and continue. Let’s get back to what the guy is doing at the coffee shop alone. If he’s not reading, perhaps he’s waiting to play chess (you’ve seen that often enough), or surfing the web.

All those answers are rather boring (i.e., clichéd), what else could he be doing at the coffee shop? He’s drinking alcohol. That might be interesting: he’s drinking alcohol mixed in with his coffee (which will help explain the spill).

Why is he drinking? He’s lonely or an alcoholic. He comes to the coffee shop to be around other people and he mixes what’s in a flask he carries with the coffee he orders.

Does he get rowdy? Yes. He’s not particularly liked in the coffee shop. He’s not sounding very sympathetic. What’s the point? It was originally just a silly story to demonstrate that talking on the phone is distracting. But now you’re trying to push it further. (You’re not doing particularly well, but at least you’re trying.)

Let’s focus on the oblivious guy for a moment. First, is it a guy or a gal? It might be more interesting if it’s a girl, and the pants are white cotton instead of khaki. She’s probably loud when she’s talking on the phone, lots of gesturing; we want her to deserve it when the coffee splashes on her, and there will probably be a lot more than just a couple of drops. It can’t be too much, or she’d feel it. I like the two drops approach. It’s fitting, and it will stain the white dress, regardless of how much actually spills.

Now that you have a better idea of the oblivious woman, what can you say about the narrator? He probably should not be drunk or belligerent. That way the reader will sympathize with him. He should only add a little alcohol to his drink, but while a regular at the coffee shop, he behaves himself, and the alcohol allows him to socialize a bit more than he normally does. He’s trying to meet new people.

Why is he trying to meet new people? He just moved to town. Yawn. He just broke up with his girlfriend. He had spent all his time with her and had no friends besides her. Is his family in town? No. Go on.

What does he do when he’s not frequenting the coffee shop? He’s an IT professional. Boring. Car salesman. Sounds good. How can he be a car salesman and not be social? Good question. He’s not good at meeting new people (sound familiar?).

Not bad. I would need to interrogate the characters a lot more to get somewhere interesting, but at least it’s more interesting than the anecdote I wrote above. Next, I’ll apply this technique on a story I’ve already been thinking about.