Moping Castles

Sunday, April 3, 2005

I’m having trouble writing the essay I spoke about yesterday. I know I should be spending this time writing instead of consternating about my troubles, but I can only stare so long at poorly formed paragraphs before feelings of dejection overtake my fragile psyche. That and today is caffeine-free, never a good omen.

After a rather prolific day writing yesterday, today was slower. Doolies left a few hours ago, and she’s on her way back to California after two-bookend weekends in Seattle during her whirlwind (her term, not mine) tour of China and Taiwan. I parked and walked her to security because she had to check her two large suitcases. It’s always harder to watch her leave from there because the pain lasts longer. Better to rip the bandage off and be done with it. The Castle is now empty and I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t want to think about my cold bed or empty heart.

After spending the weekend in different neighborhoods in Seattle, Doolies and I decided that as long as we’re in Seattle, there’s no reason to move away from the Castle. While there are some cute neighborhoods with better access to dining and coffee houses, any other house we bought would pale compared to the peacefulness, architecture, and views of the Castle. I doubt the cuteness of other neighborhoods would last long. Even the best contains only five or six blocks worth of interesting shops. I keep trying to force Seattle into my mold of New York. I have to accept that this is not New York, and I will have to drive places, find culture spread throughout the city, and accept that neighborhoods contain only a few blocks worth of interesting shops and restaurants.

I have nothing else to say. I didn’t have much to say to begin with, but after cutting my nails (long nails make typing very difficult), I felt I should say something. I decided not to bore you with more chronicles on my essay writing. It’ll come or not over this week. I can rehash it after the verdict is in. Instead, I’ll post what little I’ve written of this non-essay musing, and mope around the Castle. In spite (or perhaps because) of all its peacefulness, the Castle is a wonderful place to mope.

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