It's true, my computer is kaput. It has slowed down my doodling as I'm forced to use my work Tablet PC to create the Horribles.
After many hardware failures, the power supply finally blew, and took the power strip with it. The blow took out the house circuit as well. Using my incredible deductive powers, I determined that the power outage was caused by either a faulty power supply in the computer (unlikely) or a faulty powerstrip (much more likely, as it was a very old strip).
I'm not sure of my next steps. I thought about buying a new computer, but the more I looked insides of computer, the more it seemed a huge waste of money not to reuse them. I'll begin replacing the components piece by piece, hopefully stopping at the new power supply, and maybe a new case and fans (the Alienware case, while shiny, is huge and its fans make too much noise).