It’s difficult trying to write a story. I haven’t written original text for a while, and, if you hadn’t noticed, lately I’ve been constipated with writing in general.
Today was good. Even outside of my writing, I’ve been rather low and depressed lately. Yesterday was a low point. A headache jumped on top of the depression, and beat me until I agreed to crawl under the covers and lie still. As I side note, over the last few months, I’ve managed to decrease the frequency of my headaches. I’d like to think that yummy caffeine fixed my head. (It’s either the caffeine or the fatty foods I’ve been eating, or perhaps it’s the video games. Those are the only reasonable explanations.)
When I spoke to Doolies earlier, I tried to convey how good a day it was. “Today’s a PC day,” I told Doolies. “PC? What are you talking about?” she asked. “You know, PC, a day after I have a headache. Wait, that can’t be right,” I said. “Did you have another brain fart? It’s P.H.D., Post-Headache Day. It’s sad when I can remember your pathetic acronyms better than you.”
But enough Doolies-deprecating humor for one day. I wanted to write something today since the day is going so swimmingly. While my mood and head-state hasn’t been great lately, my worst offense has been my lack of sitting in front of the screen and suffering. Without suffering, how can I call myself an artist? Okay, I don’t believe that I have to suffer to create art—but I do believe that for me, the initial stage requires much suffering to get moving. Once I get over that initial bulwark, my writing may flow (or I may suffer for hours writing words like the ones above). Either way it’s time for me to stop babbling about me and start babbling about some other guy in some other place.
After suffering for an hour, I don’t have much to show. After thinking up the idea, I couldn’t find the conflict or the characters or the setting: So much for telling a story today. I did try and I suffered greatly, if that’s any consolation. I’ll try again tomorrow, and then the next day, and then the next day until I get this right.
Update: After I posted, I wanted to write more. I didn’t have much in mind, so I will pound out words in the dark. It’s weird typing in the dark. The screen is so bright that everything around it appears black. That’s not all I wanted to say. What else did I want to talk about? I’m heading into that nowhere zone, where I have nothing to say but I want to peel more words and show off their gooey guts. It’s way past my bedtime. I apologize for wasting your time with this inane entry.